What do you get when you mix a college drop out and a pile of homosexuality, you get a flamboyant and closeted homo gay by the name of Tucker Max.

Tucker Max is your typical “bro” who masquerades in the diseases infested shadows of homosexuality. While setting up college campus tours, he is at the same time setting up fraternity gay orgies that allow him to partake in plundering the colon caverns of copious amounts of college man anus. This type of college like rape game is called “bromoing” and Tucker is the ring master when it comes to pumping for Satan oil from the drugged out bodies of rush week hopefuls.

You might know Tucker for his poorly written fiction novels, that tell a story of a boy who has sinful adventures with bi-sexual midgets and drunk Wall Street workers. Each book is filled with vulgarity and sexual content that even a Grindr.com admin would ban from their forum if it was posted on their website. These books are purely a way for Tucker to cover up his homosexual urges and make it seem like he has a new woman on his DNA rifle every night. If you read in between the lines, you will see that these books scream “I like musky man candy rub across my forehead after a full round of power bottoming” and his West Hollywood hair cut even tops off our suspicions. Why do you think his book was called “I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell”? It is because he knows God sends gays to hell and he knows his soul is going there for punishment for his mud goblin hunting sins.

His books spew more leaky fecal slug than his overly abused sewer hole, which says a lot, since his weak anal muscles are unable to hold any bowel movements from all the penile assassinations it is has been a part of. His winking eye is like a Piñata at a Mexican Fiesta de Quinceañera, but instead of Mexicans, it is long lines of prison like black men and HSSS.TV fans; buff, angry and looking to vigorously devour some taint eye.

Tucker, you do know we now live in a world that allows gays to roam freely without being stoned or burnt at the stake. Why don’t you come out of the closet and start writing books about homo sex and interior design tips. I think you and that frolicking homo gay ass ninja, Tosh.homo, would make a great couple.