Have you heard your son walking around the house yelling vulgarities like “I use to be a moisture farmer, but I took a lightsaber to the penis”, or “All your force belongs now to us”? If you are the parental victim of such demon babble, your son has fell into the hands of a game that promotes alien gay relationships, 1020p bestiality cut scenes and phallic sex battles in deep space settings.

Let it be known that even before your son gets to hunt down Jango The Hutt or fight Wompa Bats on Hoth, they are asked to pick which “side” they want to play on. In the gay community they also make you pick a side and these sides are called “bottom” or “top”. “Bottoms” are the flaming homosexuals who prefer to have their taint hole violated by trains of bare chested men with leather chaps and “tops” or “plunders” are the ones who dip their sin snake into the fecal holes of the weaker and willing “bottoms”. In the game, the “bottoms” are the Jedi and the “tops” are what they call Sith lords. Each name has its own meaning and below we have created a visual graphic for you to print out and carry with you to show your other friends who have children.

How Does SWTOR Turn My Son Gay?

If you want your son bombarded with rainbow sprinkled sin, by all means allow them to log onto this game and let them to soak up the gay juices that will be smeared into their minds. Let your child be brainwashed into having fecal fantasies and thoughts of performing mouth sex acts on guys named Trystyn and Levi. If you want to save your sons’ soul from anal interactions, please take our warnings serious and use your parental authority by banning this game from your son’s grasps. If need be, destroy his computer so they can not Kazaa game files from neighborhood kids.

Saber Designing (Penile Decorating)
Gays do many things to their puking flesh weasels and it should come to no surprise that they like to Bedazzle their sin shafts with glittery decor and French inspirited tattoos. One thing that we found in SWTOR, is that the game lets the player design their own “lightsaber”, which looks like a cyborg’s penis, with bolts, knobs, spikes, adjust the length, color and other alterations. This is obviously teaching kids the gay technique of penile styling and you can even see in the photo we provided that they all look like some kind of gay anal torture device that some taint terrorist would use to shove up their boyfriend’s mud goblet while they marinate in fecal mucus.

Force Pushing
Force pushing is an ability the players get at level 23 which allows them to use the force to ram their opponent into submission. You want to know who else uses ramming force moves to submit their opponent’s quivering mud daisy? Yes, the gays and they are teaching this ability to your son via the left click button of their computer mouse. One day your son is force pushing a Sith off a cliff and the next day he is force pushing his man candy into the neighbors red headed gay son.

Penile Fights
At any given time, thousands of SWTOR players are dueling to the death with their glowing meat bananas and bashing each other in a sadomasochistic way. In game this might look like a light show battle of warriors, but how would you like it if your son was in the back yard with his twiddle rompus in hand trying to slay his friend by slapping him with his Satan scepter violently? Yes, it isn’t so cute now is it. Well these are the types of behaviors these lightsaber battles are instilling into the minds of their young players. They see that they are able to vanquish the bad guy with their glowing love lure and they start to think it might be fun to fecal joust Billy’s bum with demonic thrusts.

Bestiality Love Triangles
Did you know your son can have a gay fling with their intergalactic buddy? Just how gays have international love rendezvous, this game is teaching your son how they to can be an international gay sexer. The game slowly brainwashes your son into having feelings for their male pet and soon enough they ask your son if they want to become “involved” with their companion. So far 89% of the players have chosen to take the dark path down bestiality road and it is only a matter of time before we see kids taking their dog or cat to their proms.